Reason enough?? – Whaddaya think?

The producer of the national television show, A LONG-LONG LIFE, had become concerned about continuously decreasing ratings and was desperately searching for anything that would bring these ratings to a point that would be acceptable to his sponsors. After scouring the entire country, he found what he thought was an advertisers dream. In the back-woods of North Carolina, He heard of a man who claimed to be 124 years old.

Being somewhat skeptical of this claim, he decided to interview the man at length before making the decision to include him in the format of a future show. After driving his rental car through the hills and hollows, on roads that were more paths than anything else, he arrived at a crude, dilapidated shack almost covered with kudzu vines.

He immediately saw a scrawny individual in the throes of splitting wood and adding it to the huge stack behind him. He asked the man if he was Horace Arbuckle. With a great deal of effort the man stuck the axe deep into the chopping block, removed a long cigar from his toothless mouth allowing a plume of smoke to escape and said, “Yep.” The producer then asked if he was indeed 124 years old. Horace took another drag on the cigar before he answered, “Yep.”

Excitedly, the producer asked, “To what do you feel that you owe your longevity?” Horace placed the cigar between his gums and said, “Say what?” The producer explained that he wanted to know how Horace had managed to live so long.

Horace grinned with the cigar still clamped tightly between his gums and replied; “I smoke 5 packs of cigarettes and 4 cigars every day and have done so for the past 67 years.”

‘Exactly what I was looking for,’ the producer thought. “Do you mind if I call on you again next week, ” he asked? “Nope,” was the only answer.

With a contract in hand, the producer again acosted Horace the following week. “If you will come to our studios at 08:30 on Monday, we will tape a show with your testimony and my sponsor, R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Company, will pay you the grand sum of $10,000.00.” Horace’s answer was simply, “NOPE; can’t.”

“Why in the world can you refuse to show up at out studio at 08:30 on Monday and to make that much money when it’s evident that you need it. Give me a good reason.”

“Don’t quit coughing until 12:45.”

Demijon