IMAGINATION and a few funny friends

To be truthful, I lean heavily on events and/or ideas supplied by others. Many of these folks have no idea that they will appear in print and do not recognize the final draft. It is here that the imagination comes in.

When an idea for an article is inadvertently presented, I assign it to a fictional character and build the story around either his good or bad points. To add bulk to this article, it becomes necessary to include some of my own personal experiences, many of which are true.

For example: To hear a friend remark that someone was wearing four inch spike, heels with a mini-skirt is hardly earth shattering. Now, take the same remark and apply it to a situation where “Bubba” is describing the lady of the evening whom he had observed on DeKalb street in downtown Atlanta, Georgia, and it becomes the epitome of innovative dialect, i.e., “I’ll tell y’all one thang, thet gal had heels whot wus so high thet her butt were jacked up lak a ’54 Chevy, an’ iffen that thare dress were any shorter, she’d have four cheeks ta paint ‘stead uv two.” or, “Maw all’as tolt me iffen I looked at sumpin lak that thare, I’d go blind. Howsomever, I figured I’d risk one eye.”

I suppose my favorites would be to take any unusual occurrence, and relating it to my nondescript past, create a story that would be interesting if not believable. As a child during a time when there was little in the way of entertainment and even less money with which to avail oneself, this did much to inaugurate the process of transforming ordinary events into amusing anecdotes. Thus, the characters of Susie Mae and Jay Henry were born.

The antics of this backwoods couple are purely fictional; however, much of the material was inspired by actual incidents which I encountered during my youth. As any “good ole country boy” will attest, the humor of the “backwoods” stems from pure, unadulterated Americana.

Where else can you find the terms such as: “I’ll slap yo’r jaws.” “Git th’ dishrag an’ wipe th’ youngun’s nose, I can’t stan’ nast’ness.” “Pa ain’t here rat now. He’s in th’ back-house.” or “Mazie, iffen y’all don’t empty th’ slop jar, Maw’s gonna tan y’all’s butt.”

In most cases the recording of such incidents are simply for the enjoyment of the reader and have no similarity whatsoever to actual occurrences. They are provided as proof that if one possesses a vivid imagination and a few funny friends, the telling of tall tales is no big deal.

Perhaps the hardest part is trying to remember all of these gems of wisdom once you decide to write them down. This is no minor task for someone like me who, when I make an attempt to record them, has trouble with the “OFF” and “ON” button on a cumputtar thaet canotte spaell shee-itt.

Jay Henry