DUCKWALKING – The art of cheating at CROQUET

Three young couples that were struggling to raise a total of seven children on limited incomes could hardly afford to hire a babysitter for a night out for dinner or the theater; therefore, they were required to create their own brand of entertainment.

A few dollars from one purchased a cheap charcoal grill, a bag of charcoal and a few hot dogs. Another managed to buy a Croquet set. Not to be outdone, the third couple acquired a Badminton set. They were now prepared for amusement that could include the entire families. The net for the Badminton set and the Croquet set hoops could easilly be moved from one yard to another.

When the hot dogs had been ingested, a rousing game of Croquet began. At sometime during the game, one or another player would be observed moving their feet in a shuffling motion in an attempt to move their ball closer to the hoop. This action raised a cry of foul among the others, “Look at him;” “HE’S DUCKWALKING!” Since this was comon practice, everyone not presently engaged on shooting, kept an eagle-eye on all the other players. Several players became so adept at duckwalking that it was almost impossible to spot their transgressions.

The sport of Badminton evened the playing field somewhat since it was  impractable to duckwalk. Nevertheless, other methods of cheating were devised that brought about many heated discussions among the young participants.

Many young folks today would scoff at batting a Shuttle-Cock across a net or pounding a wooden ball through a wire hoop, but it was a form of entertainment for those of us who had more participants than we had of money.

Demijon

Can we afford it on a fixed income?

There are certainly times when we all are required to seek a doctor’s advice. We call for an appointment and are told to come in Tuesday at 10:00. On an average, most of us will arrive at least fifteen minutes early. We sign in and browse through a tattered copy of Look magazine (May 1932) and wait until our name is called.

While we wait, fourteen patients enter and sign in. A very pretty nurse herds them, one by one, into the examination rooms. We use the excuse to visit the bathroom to quickly scan the sign-in sheet and observe that eleven of the fourteen have appointments after 10:45.

Returning to our seat, we discover our magazine is no longer available so we sort through the reading material until we find a copy of Liberty (July 1944). Suddenly we realize that we are the only one left in the waiting room and the time is 11:45. Failing miserably in our attempt to control our anger, we approach the desk to inquire of our status. “No one has pulled your file,” we are told.

Thirty minutes later, our name is called and we are led to an examination room where we wait, clad in the scant little gown and sit shivering in the frigid blast of air from the overhead vent.

20 minutes later the doctor comes in and takes our blood pressure. “Hmm, 213 over 106. We’re going to have to do something about this,” he says, reaching into the pocket of his gleaming white, stiffly starched, coat for a prescription pad. “Take three of these each day and come back in a week,” he adds as he began to leave.

“Doctor, I need to talk to you about waiting for two hours and fifteen minutes while patients who arrived after my appointment time were attended before me. Do you think this had anything to do with my elevated blood pressure?”

Closing our file and hanging his stethoscope around his neck, he replied, “That will have to wait until your next visit because I am only allowed 8 minutes for this assessment of your condition.” With that, he walked out.

We fill the prescription and find that these pills are the ones that are constantly hyped on television, radio and the printed media. Imagine our surprise when we discover that the cost is $13.63 per pill! Without all of the expense of advertising, the pills could possibly be purchased for 8 to 10 cents each. And, the cost of eight minutes of the doctor’s time amounted to $96 dollars and change.

Don’t get sick.

Demijon